I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
