I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Randomize
