my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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