my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize