Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
