Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
My pussy is not your playground.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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