How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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