I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
