My hand turned me down
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Randomize
