Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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