dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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