Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
barbara walters just said penis...
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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