no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
