i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
