The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
