i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
