East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
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