I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
