You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
