i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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