I hate all girls vehemently.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
