Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
