We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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