His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I touched a dick in church today
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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