just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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