fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize