the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
