I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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