; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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