did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
