Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize