Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Randomize
