why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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