College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
