im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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