pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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