I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
