I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
