My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
