I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
