Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
