Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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