He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
