Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
