hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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