I bet he comes in French.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
