I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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