Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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