I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
a search helicopter?!
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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