I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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