am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
