I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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