Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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