Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
