R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize