So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
