i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
