sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
