haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
