I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
