so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
My underwear smells like fireworks.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize