3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
