Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
