im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
